sweet sorrow

i want your love.

you want my body.

your lusting has gone too far.

to the point where it could pass

as love.

why do you act like you love

me?

your subtle changes in actions

and words

give me every reason to believe

that you're in love with me,

like i am with you.

the tingling of my lips

reminds me of my regrets.

why do i give into your kiss?

why do i go back to your abuse

time

and

time

again?

i wonder

i wonder

if i should smoke cigarettes

until my lungs go limp,

so that i

no longer

say

stupid

words.

drunkeness.

no matter how drunk you are,

i relish in your every touch.

when you lay your shoulder on me

from being passed out.

when you hold my hand for help out of the car

when you miss my lips for a kiss.

i love you.

i love you so truly and deeply.

if the only way i can have you care about me is when you're drunk...

so

be

it.

heart.

boys.

whenever i am tempted get closer with a boy, i get on chatroulette to remind myself of why i hate them so much.

i was talking to a boy on chatroulette, but i got tired of him so i said i was going to bed.

he says "wait, do you want to see my dick first?"

i knew that he would say something like that, and i had noticed the necklace he was wearing, that had a cross on it.

i said "you shouldn't wear a cross around your neck if you're going to be a pervert. blasphemy, i'd say."

so after a few seconds he goes "so... is that a no?"

i wish

that i knew how i acted, when you liked me. i'm not sure how much i've changed since then, and i'm not really sure how much you've changed, but it makes me really wonder how to act to be lovable again.

I MEAN, YEAAAH.

i mean yeah, so what if i spend my day off on the couch?

IDGAF!

:D

hello, handsome.

give me that charming, boyish smile.

show me you love me in demiurgic ways.

spend you're time with me, and make every moment

worthwhile.

think of me all of your waking days.

want me, need me, find it difficult to resist me.

i'll love you, hold you, show you the way to peace.

HUH?!

perfect?

you like my hips in this dress
my arms in this shirt
my chest in this blouse
my legs in this skirt.
am i supposed
to wear all of them
at once?
how can i
be perfect,
when you only like certain parts of me
in certain
pieces
of clothing?

-hales magee.

crap.

i no longer have to deal with you abuse. how stubborn you are. your ridiculously pale skin. your dumb cowlick. your lies. how stupid your "your mom" jokes are. your insecurities. your financial woes. your inability to have a serious conversation. your ability to make me feel like crap in a matter of a few words. your wandering eyes. your sexual innuendos about random girls.

i no longer have to deal with your kisses. your hugs. your jokes. you replacing song lyrics with my name, to make it romantic. our tickle fights. your awful singing voice, that was so easy to sing along with. your ability to make me feel alright. our inside jokes. vow of protection against our coworkers, with each other. your willingness to drive all the way to my house, just to watch the stars with me.

i no longer have to deal with your indecisiveness about whether you want to be with me or not.

now, i just have to deal with the fact that i'll always want to be with you.