wonderful new boy.

at first i was hesitant.

unsure if i'm just settling again.

but then, i realized how many hearty laughs you had gotten out of me.

i realized the goosebumps i had gotten when your arm grazed

mine.

when you felt down from my bicep to my forearm,

it only felt natural to intertwine our fingers

when your reached them.

after our hugs goodnight,

and long goodbyes,

you text me to tell you how you wish the hug lasted longer.

you tell me that there's no one in the world you would've been happier to meet

than me.

you say i'm the most awesome girl in the world.

amazing. beautiful. wonderful.

how am i not supposed to assume that you have feelings for me?

the next day,

you tell me you do like me,

but want to continue "just hanging out."

i want the same thing as you do.

the exact same thing.

affectionate friends.

more than friends.

not in a relationship,

but more than friends.

so why does it disappoint me so much that you don't want me?

is it because you don't want me as much as i thought you did?

i'm tempted to ask you what is so

amazing, beautiful, wonderful

about me,

if you don't even want me as your love?