i should not have driven across town after taking my medicine for the first time in 3 days.

scariest experience of my life.

i've been so paranoid about everything lately.

i've had intense social anxiety.

i now have to take mood stabalizers to help that crap out.

i feel like i'm just always drugged up.

i take twice the amount of depression medicine as i did before. that's the highest dose that i can be on while on this medicine.

i take my anxiety medicine three times a day.

and now, mood stabalizers at night.

i don't even really have happiness anymore.

when i'm on the medicine, i'm neither happy or sad.

i'm just blah.

just there.

just breathing.

i can't wait to be alive again.